Rabid frog

Can the pathetic excuse for a network that is Channel Seven dump (effective immedi-- YESTERDAY) Australian Open 'commentator' Henri Leconte? I mean, MY GOD. To say his coverage of last night's Djokovic-Tsonga match was unprofessional would be an understatement of gargantuan proportions. Dude wouldn't know neutral if it bit him in the ass. Beat it, Frenchy! And take your categorical favouritism with you. And the maddening, overwrought yelps as you root for compatriot Tsonga like the rabid frog that you are. AND the pompous rat-a-tat-a-tat laughter, 'à la Française'. I hope fellow- and main-commentator Jim Courier (whom I actually like) sucker-punches the bastard. Repeatedly. C'mon, Jim, do it! Better yet, I'll join ya! Now, where's my baseball bat...wait! I'll just use a stale baguette. Zing!

That Heidi Montag chick scares the living bejesus out of me. I mean, what is up with THAT?! Saw a news segment on her the other night; chick looked fine before, pretty and natural, now she just looks...bloody terrifying. Immobile. Cringeworthy. Egads! What sane 23-year-old undergoes plastic surgery? The world is going to hell in a hand-basket. So, the moron went in to make herself better (?!) and ended up an unnatural, plasticised version of her former self, one that makes people gasp in fright. That's some poetic justice right there. Chick's a walking trainwreck. I guess famewhoring will do that to ya. Yeesh.

So, apparently I've become important enough (cough) that someone has wasted time on my blog SPAMMING my previous post. Jebus, didn't know my haiku was THAT insufferable. Pipe down, Spammy McSpammerson!

The following are search terms that have brought people over to my little nook here: "Miley Cyrus licking spoon" (ew...and EW); "can you get swine flu from screwing apig" (argh, my eyes, my eyes! Sod off, weirdo!); "cartoon excited dude" (hey there...cartoony dude who's excited!); "horror movie - man licking bus window" (...riiiiight); "pig licking me" (my God, who ARE you people?!); "teenage girls wooden spoons" (for f--k's sake...freakazoids!).