We're having a bit of a problem, see.
Ants.
Ugh. Gah! Loathe them!
Waaaahhh!
All right, let me back up a smidge...
I don't really...hate ants. I think they're sweet and hard-working, and that's all good and well. I respect that. Diligence! And teamwork! And persistence! All very admirable, without a doubt. Look at them go! Grass, footpath...et cetera.
But ants in my house? NUH-UH, nooooo. That's the part where I turn into Crazy Evil Ant-Annihilating Bitch (with a generous dose of paranoia thrown in for good measure). Now, doesn't that sound appealing! I know that they're small and that they don't mean harm and blah blah blah; I get all that. But I still don't want them crawling across the kitchen floor or on the benchtops, or anywhere inside for that matter.
And it's not like our place is dirty with food remains on the floor (ew!) - apparently, ants like to seek refuge in people's homes during summer.
We took action and sprayed the outside area, then put some 'tablet' thingies inside the kitchen that apparently attract the ants with its poisonous food, which they then take back to the queen and...well, they all die in the end.
(Cue Dr Evil laughter.)
Hmmm, maybe if they were all adorable and chatty like the ants in that movie...y'know, ANTS. Hey, I'd hang with them. I'd let them roam the kitchen to their hearts' content.
This, however, is reality, which means I stand over the ants that come in, watch them gingerly approach the tablet(s) and say (a la Mr Burns) "Yes, ANTS...go to the tablet. The tablet is your friend, yeeees."
Because I'm all evil and shit.
P.S. ...But seriously, last night out of nowhere a GIANT ASS KILLER ANT came inside and...MY GOD. What the hell? Being my usual animated-self, I commented to my boy that this ginormous ant had come to seek revenge for all of the ants we had vacuumed up. Boy very wisely rolled his eyes and ignored me. Good move.
P.P.S. Did I really just write a whole post about ants? Huh. What do you know. Hell, at least I'm writing. Riiiiiight?
6 comments:
LOL! I love your Dr. Eeeeeeeeevil. Several years ago, when I was still living with my parents, they had an ant problem in their home in upstate NY. So what did little Charlotte, the vegetarian/animal lover crusader do? I actually would load them on a paper towel and then walk them outside ONE BY ONE. Because I'm a freak. My parents for the life of them couldn't figure out where they went wrong. Anyway, my method did nothing and the ants eventually found their way back in.
I've never tried these magical tablets but I hope it does the trick!
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@Charlotte: Heheheh. One by one, eh? Dude, that's some patience right there! And kindness, to boot. I feel like such a murderer!! Heh. The tablets ended up doing nothing; if anything, they whet the ants' appetites and more and more came in...which is when we decided to find (read: guess) where their nest was, and upon realising there was a gap in front of the sliding door leading to the backyard, my fiance took two pots full of boiling hot water and poured into this long gap...
Since then, we haven't heard a peep out of them.
...My God, we ARE murderers! ;)
P.S. What's with these spammers, ugh! And why can't I delete the 'comment'...weird.
...Hmmm, okay, so dude's not exactly a SPAMMER, per se, but the baby stuff isn't relevant for me as yet, heh heh. :D
I don't think it makes you a murderer--they should know better than to nest in your home! J Mark looks like he should be a cruise ship director ;) LOL!! Hmm... you use blogspot, right? I'm not sure how to get rid of spam :(
I hate you a little bit for being in the summer when I am stuck with the constant threat of ice storms and sitting on my porch requires funky llama hat, fleece blanket, and wool coat.
However, I feel your hatred of ants. CAN. NOT. STAND.
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